The joys and pitfalls of mommyhood…

…are plaguing me like a really bad song that’s stuck in my head at 6 in the morning before I’ve had my coffee and I’m changing a really awful smelling, really heavy diaper. I love being with Nate…sometimes.  He makes me so happy and then at other times like I just want to throw up my hands and scream.  Like last night. I put him down, had just laid down and was floating off to sleep next to Izzy when he started crying again, all out bawling, not like the type of crying where I can say “Let’s give him five minutes and see what happens…”  So I got up and picked him up and he passed out…I think he just wanted to be held for five minutes, but this was after a whole weekend of me being the only one really taking care of him (Izzy was doing other housekeeping stuff).  So I was frustrated.

And then I had a dream last night that made me totally regret it. I dreamt that (somehow) Nate had fallen into a really deep part of the ocean. Obviously, he couldn’t swim because he was still his seven and a half month old self and he started to sink to the bottom. I dove after him…I kept my eyes open as I went through the murky, cold water and finally got him. I finally saw him coming at me out of the murk as I swam down towards the bottom of the ocean. I then grabbed him and kicked off the bottom and was able to get back to the surface where I proceeded to swim to shore, all the while trying to get him to breath, which he eventually started to do, not long after we hit the surface.  It was just plain awful…

On a higher note, I got Stefanie Wilder-Taylor’s new book, Naptime is the New Happy Hour and I lurve it, just like I knew that I would – no, I’m not going to burn it.  I may even frame it for the office. 🙂


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