Preconceived notions…

I have to admit, I had (and sometimes do still) have my own preconceived notions of what SAHM’s do and are like.  And I tried to do that when I first had Nate. I imagined that SAHM’s literally stayed home all day. I imagined them perfectly content staying within their home all day, every day, until the breadwinner or whatever returned home, liberating them from the confines of their house.

Boy, was I ever wrong.

SAHM’s are really, really busy people. Some, like my SIL, are going to school part-time hoping to get their degrees. Others write or organize or volunteer. They, of course, take care of the children and the home, which is a full-time job in and of itself. Some even home school their children (that’s a whole different post!). Being a SAHM is actually pretty admirable; however I don’t think that I could do it. I have a built in adult network already there because of the work that I do outside the home that I sorely missed when I was at home in the weeks following Nate’s birth. I missed the challenges of my job – doing what I was trained to do. And I’m happier with the routine that I have now.

I guess it’s each to their own…


4 thoughts on “Preconceived notions…

  1. OK. You know me. As a SAHM, I have more to say.

    I am happy that in this day an age a woman can accomplish anything she sets her mind to. I am very proud of friends and family that have made the choice out of ambition or necessity to have careers in law, medicine, fashion, etc… they have my respect and admiration. I just wish that the choice to give myself whole-heartedly, as a full-time mother was also perceived an admirable one.

    I get that some people feel the need for more because, frankly, so do I! But I wish that it would be widely understood that I am not a SAHM because I lack ambition. I want it all just like the career moms do. I just planned my life out differently. Being a SAHM was part of my plan from day one. I wanted to do this, to be a mom, while a was young. It seemed backwards and a bit futile to finish college, work up a career- and then leave to go have raise kids. I figured it made more sense (for me) to have my family, be the mom I wanted to be, BEFORE I started a career that could take me through the rest of my adult life. It especially made sense for me because I had that a good man in place, ready to provide love and security through those years.

    I hope that people reading this will at least start to understand that SAHM are not less evolved than working moms. We do not lack intelligence or ambition. Being a SAHM is part of my ambition. Raising happy, healthy, strong, secure and compassionate children and giving them a childhood rich in experience is what I am about. So much so that it is what I have dedicated these years to doing.

  2. I think you’re absolutely right; I’m not someone that could stay at home and often, I get the reverse from SAHM’s – they think that working mom’s aren’t “real” moms or are horrible moms because we work and we drop our kids off at daycare for 40 hours a week, or more depending on the job, because we work. And that’s not the case AT ALL for many working moms. I knew that I didn’t want to stay at home full time with Nate, but that doesn’t mean I’m not a good mom or that I’m abdicating my responsibility as a parent.

    Different strokes for different folks. 🙂

  3. I absolutely do not support the notion that a working mom isn’t somehow less of a mother.

    Two of my very best friends are working moms- a CFO and an events coordinator, that work 40 hrs minimum! I know their hearts, I know their families, and I know they are GREAT moms. I also think, for the most part, they get more respect from the general population for being “super-moms”.

    They definitely have their own set of difficulties though. The main complaint being they can never seem to get away! They feel so guilty that they aren’t about to take of for a vacation without their kids! They want to spend every waking (non-working) moment with their families! It’s a constant battle trying to balance work, quality time with kids, and a social life. I think it’s important to take some time for yourself too, and I encourage them to do so. No need to feel guilty. We’re all just doing our best!

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