OMG, am I a Rescue Parent already?!

So, now that I’m back home in the light and with Internet access, I’m slowly but surely catching up on my podcasts. I have a few steady, stand-bys and I got this topic from one of them. Paige and Gretchen over at Mommycast had a show in October of this year on Rescue Parents. These are the parents that pretty much are the helicopter parents. These are the parents that will do everything for the child in order to protect them from the natural consequences of their actions. Now obviously, we’re not talking about preventing a child from walking on glass or swallowing pills that would be toxic to them or anything like that – not even remotely close. We’re talking about doing your child’s project for them, the one that is due the next day, that you were reminding them to do for weeks.

In some ways, I think I am a rescue parent. I don’t want to see Nate get hurt. I want him to succeed. But at the same time, I want him to be self-sufficient and self-reliant and to learn by doing and making mistakes or not doing something or doing something and getting consequences. Because there are consequences to all that we do…

I think that part of my need to be a potential rescue parent is my own insecurity with regards to my parenting abilities. I love my son and I think that anyone that saw us interact would know that I love my son very, very much. I would die for him. But at the same time, every single day I question every single thing that I do for him.  Even if a reasonable person looking in would say that it looks like I’m doing everything right.

That’s my take on it so far and I haven’t even begun to graze the surface of it.

So the big news around here is still the power outages. We were lucky enough to get our power back on Sunday (although everything went off for like ten seconds tonight and we were plunged into darkness and I thought that I was going to have a psychotic break but whatever). But there are still thousands of people here going on their fifth/sixth days without power.  It’s crazy in a sense.

In another sense, I question it.  I feel so selfish for having to spend three days without power in my home while I waited it out in a HOTEL for crying out loud. I had a roof over my head, heat, water and hot meals, which is more than refugees in the Sudan have. You get the drift. On the other hand, it’s stressful not being able to return home. You just want to have your own place, sleep in your own bed, the whole nine yards. It gave me a new level of empathy for people that are less fortunate than I. My thoughts are with you all right now and I hope that everyone stays safe, especially because they’re calling for more snow and ice.

Currently reading: The Dark is Rising by Susan Cooper, which is a fantasy novel that takes place around Christmas-time, making it appropriate for right now. 🙂

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3 thoughts on “OMG, am I a Rescue Parent already?!

  1. It was definitely the kind of week that makes one think about how lucky we are to have all the comforts of modern life. We have it so easy. During the last ice storm ten years ago most people didn’t even have cell phones, laptops, and wireless internet. Those are the things that got me through this.

  2. You have to be careful with the rescue parent idea. If taken too far, it can go to the extreme of trying to shelter a child. A sheltered child can have big problems when they are forced to face the world as they grow older.

  3. Great post. I know the feeling. Especially when the kids were little, we would try to keep them from getting hurt at all costs. I think even now, any chance to keep them from injury or filth is seized.

    When our son would fall and hurt himself when I was “on duty,” my wife would get upset that I didn’t “save” him some how.

    “What do you want me to do, follow him around all day with a pillow to fall on?”
    “YES!”

    The have to fall on their faces eventually. Better to do it when you can pick them up, dust them off, and encourage them to try again.

    – dK

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