Hospitalization

So, Nate has been hospitalized.  I felt so awful.  I brought him to the doctor this morning for a check-up on his status – he started getting a rash yesterday and was going on day 5 of his fever.  The doctor told us to continue on with the medication that was prescribed to us on Sunday.  Then, he gave me a call at about three this afternoon asking me to come into the office for a urine test, because his bloodwork had come back positive for a bacterial infection. So off to the doctor we went again. And when we got there, the doctor came in and said that he wanted to admit Nate to the hospital because he wasn’t sure if the initial tests were giving false positives or not. So he ended up admitting Nate to the hospital.

It’s scary how Izzy and I eased ourselves into a sort of schedule. I’m on days at the hospital and he’s on nights. It’s going to be really, really exhausting. I’m nervous, scared and a general wreck. And I feel awful. I feel so absolutely useless and helpless sitting there looking at my little boy with an IV in his hand, looking at me with those big eyes asking me what the hell was going on and why he was there.  I was also having traumatic flashbacks to giving birth to Nate, which was an altogether nightmarish experience that I didn’t want to live through again. I guess that things will at some point resolve themslves.

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