Nerves

So, I’m due anywhere between 2 and 4 weeks from now – October 6. The reason that I say two is that Nate actually came two weeks early – at 38 weeks. I often wonder if it was because of the gestational hypertension/preeclampsia that he came early – possible. At around this time last pregnancy, my blood pressure was through the roof, my feet and ankles were going to burst because they were that swollen (they were more swollen then when I broke my ankle if you can imagine) and I could barely stuff them into socks, let alone shoes. I had gained probably abou 45 pounds (right now I’m between 20 and 25 pounds gained) and was on modified bed rest.

But who cares really if she comes now or in six weeks – the feelings are still there. I’m apprehensive. This time though, I’m not apprehensive of the delivery process. Within the last six months, I severely broke my ankle – I broke three bones, one cleanly through and had to have surgery. I have a metal rod and screws and pins in my ankle that will be with for quite some time. I go through what I loving refer to as my torture – physical therapy – all so that I can walk normally (without limping). And it was the single most painful thing that I have ever experienced. I couldn’t have normal pain drugs for extended periods of time or even a normal period of time because I was pregnant. There were nights where I didn’t sleep because of the pain.  So I know that I can handle the pain of childbirth now – there is pain in childbirth but you can usually count on it ending at some point. The contractions are painful but it’s a different pain and they end at some point – and you know how long they last so you know that if you just keep breathing through it, it will stop until the next one. And you know that actually pushing will end too at some point and that even if you have a c-section, that pain can be dealt with pretty easily with Advil at least and some good painkillers, which you can have cause you’re not pregnant anymore. So I’m confident that I can deal with the birthing pain.

I don’t know how I’m going to have a newborn and a three year old to deal with.  Newborns have their own challenges – lack of sleep (SEVERE sleep deprivation), learning all over again how to breastfeed (if you’re going to breastfeed), well child checks and weight checks every few weeks, your own MD appointments every three weeks. AND having to deal with a three year old that is being a three year old and having to deal with a new addition to the family that may be taking more of mommy and daddy’s attention than he wants them to take.  That’s what I’m nervous about.

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6 thoughts on “Nerves

  1. Don’t worry so much-pay attention to Nate as much as possible-the baby doesn’t know you are paying attention to a sibling-Nate does know. So it is very important to worry about him and his reaction to a sibling. You will be fine-just be calm!!!

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