T Minus two weeks and counting

So my baby is now two months old. So crazy that I had her eight weeks ago (and change).  But with the two month mark comes a couple of big milestones.  She has her two month Well Child Check coming up, which means shots.  Never fun because that means fussiness and low grade fevers and just general not happiness all around because who likes to see their kids get shots really?  It also means that I go back to work in a little less than two weeks. Ten days from tomorrow actually and I’m looking forward to it.  Being a lawyer, and specifically a public defender, is so essential to my identity.  I’m a lawyer, a public defender and a mommy (although not in that order) and I really miss the people that I work with and the challenges that the job brings (although if I could find a way to do the challenges without having the stress and insecurity that I put on myself, I totally would, then I would bottle it and sell it). I miss the adult conversation. 

***

I am in the middle of going through my second bout of mastitis and am in the process of weaning. It was and is an awful situation. I still feel tons and tons of guilt about it; however at the same time, it’s liberating and a relief.  I feel the guilt because I feel like it’s completely selfish of me to wean now when Gabby is only two months old especially because I lasted 6 months with Nate – and that’s not latching people. That’s six months of exclusively pumping. And it’s been two months of exclusively pumping with Gabby too – in addition to the time it is going to take me to wean. Breast is best after all and I feel like I’m screwing my kid by not sticking it out a little longer.  At the same time, it’s not just about food right? I mean food is totally important and I get that, but it’s also about the face time that you have with your baby and the quality of that face time.  If I’m attached to a pump then I’m not with my baby.  And when I go to work, that means I’m going to have even less time with Gabby AND with Nate than I do now, so why do I want to be attached to a pump for the time that I’m at home? Also, quite frankly, pumping just plain sucks.  It’s no fun. I dread it.  If I had my way I would drive my car over my pump gladly, over and over and over again. It’s the bane of my existence. So, I’m sticking with the promsie that I made to myself and am beginning the process of weaning.

I spoke with a lactation consultant at the hospital that I gave birth at recently and she recommended that I add a half an hour to the time in between pumpings each week. So this week, I’m doing three hours in between pumpings.  If that goes well, on Saturday I will start 3.5 hours in between pumpings and then, by the time I go to work, I’ll be at four hours in between pumpings.  The timing is actually not bad because I can also talk to the pediatrician at Gabby’s WCC about formula and which one I should be using. 

Anyone have any other ideas about what I should be doing to wean? Comfort measures and recommendations? (I’m already using warm compresses before pumping and cabbage in the bra afterwards). Is there anything food wise that I can eat that will help me “dry up” sooner?

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2 thoughts on “T Minus two weeks and counting

  1. *hugs* I’m sorry to hear but you’re doing a great job and your kids will be the better for it.
    No weaning advice – by the time I stopped pumping, my supply was so cruddy that I didn’t have to do anything special. I stopped pretty much cold turkey.

  2. Good luck with the weaning. P was pre-term (barely) but too small to latch, and that plus my meds pretty much nixed breast feeding. Basically, the milk came in and then we just never nursed. Just one or two days of pain.

    I felt guilty for being so relieved that I was off the hook, but I have a huge, healthy kid so…not too guilty now. 🙂

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